“Elizabeth Beckwith is one of my favorite comics to watch.  When I first saw her perform at a coffee shop in California, I thought, ‘Who is this clever woman and how does she come up with these splendid thoughts?  And why is she performing in this coffee joint?  She should write a book.’  Elizabeth Beckwith is a wonderful writer and an expressive hilarious comedian.” -- Zach Galifianakis

“Beckwith uses her own family as study aids, demonstrating how she was raised to be a better person with an ingenious pattern of mental manipulation and familial contrition that would've made Stalin proud. Also, her book contains the sentence ‘They might as well be scrubbing themselves with a loofah full of gonorrhea,’ which is reason enough to fork over the $14.99 asking price.” -- Vanity Fair

“Beckwith was raised in a large, loud, and loving Italian-American family in Las Vegas, of all wholesome places, and tongue-in-cheek though it may be, the autobiographical instruction she dishes out is not just comical but remarkably common-sensical.”  -- The Boston Globe

This book is an equally useful guide to raising secure, confident children or identifying easy women for one night stands.” -- Joel Stein

“... this engaging mix of poignant humor, honest commentary, and hidden nuggets of wisdom will find a ready audience among seasoned and new parents alike.” -- Booklist

“Seriously hilarious and stand-up smart, Beckwith’s book should be mandatory reading before applying for any class of parenting license.”   -- Michael Largo

“This has to be one of the funniest books I’ve read in…well….ever. To say comedian Elizabeth Beckwith is hilarious would be an understatement.” -- Parent Wise Austin

RAISING THE PERFECT CHILD THROUGH GUILT AND MANIPULATION  is a twisted take on traditional parenting guides— spoofing them while simultaneously covering some child-rearing truths that typical parenting guides miss. Each chapter covers a different component of the Guilt and Manipulation approach. Such topics include:

•Creating a Team: “Us” Vs. “Them”
•How to Scare the Crap Out of Your Child (In a Positive Way)
•Don’t Be Afraid to Raise a Nerd
•Mind Control: Why It’s a Good Thing

To supplement these pearls of wisdom, Elizabeth puts her own upbringing under the microscope. In personal asides she shares stories of growing up in Las Vegas with a constant parade of characters perfectly suited for the Guilt and Manipulation philosophy: with so many examples of how not to turn out, it was easy for Elizabeth’s parents to teach her how to become the kind of woman she should be (i.e., not a floozy).

Part memoir, part instructional spoof, RAISING THE PERFECT CHILD THROUGH GUILT AND MANIPULATION is wickedly funny reading for parents and non-parents alike. Beckwith provides laughs for all.

Order from a retailer today or risk living a life filled with regret!